Fearless

This here, is Justin Poh.
Camp Lions was inspiring enough, and this man here has quite an interesting characteristic that I'd like to share.
Justin, is my teammate throughout the camp, group Pasenadi.
With all the other endless stories of his that everyone in camp lions got annoyed of,
on the first night of the camp, he taught me how to overcome my fear.

He said,
imagine yourself swimming in a river.. and you would fear a crocodile might just rush up to you and snap off your legs.
But as you swim, as you're in a dark and scary room,
as you're afraid of that fearful thought of yours..

Its in your head, like a twister.
That picture in your mind you dare not touch, you paint it black and white.

It is without a colour now, it is emotionless, it is motionless.
With that moment, you minimize that image.

You make it smaller, that its smaller than you.
with ease and no worries.

And smaller.

Until its gone.
your fear, is gone.
you live on.. with confidence.

Vocabulary

Here are probably some of the most overused phrases that I use while getting through my dailies, and probably thoughts that crosses my mind quite frequently. :)

1. Hi :D

i learn to greet.

2. Are you a Buddhist?

sorry, i just feel like knowing.

3. *What do you think of me?*

if only i can don't care what the answer is.

4. I'm hungry

always.

5. I need to pay the toilet a visit

human nature rocks.

6. *I like your smile*

sweet.

7. Okay

thinking more is rather tiring.

8. Sure

sure.

9. I had a very weird dream last night

:S

10. I had such a sweet dream last night

pleasant indeed.

11. *Am i annoying you? Okay i'll leave.*

sometimes i'd rather be safe.

12. Can i ask you something?

i think permission is important.

13. What do you plan to do in the future?

the question that'll make some of us cry.

14. What time is it?

and i only hope i get one-logical-straight-not-lame-answer, Shahid.

15. I don't know

just give me time and space to think.

16. I need food...

bye.

In General

Then, they came back breaking your jaw.
Strong that you would not believe it.
You shiver knowing they never gave up.

Through the days and nights,
training and pushing their limits,
ignoring the weather and the sweat,
keeping everything and everyone together,
breaking hard on every single thing they're doing,
with complete understanding of what they're really going for,
they know who they are, and what they're facing.

This is real, this is a game, a game of life.
have fun and play it hard.

Ip Man 2

With every punch getting stronger and faster,
alternatively with force and rage
with respect.


Everything has to be for a good reason,
or it just isn't right.

Sit

My place is conserved to the seats I'll once come above,
to have a threat on whether to sit there or not,
to have a fear of what could happen,
to be big enough to stand up for it,
to go insane, I'm going crazy.

High

You know, I actually feel some pride..
after going through this craze of extremeness..
that I come back to Malaysia, to share what I remember..
all I can produce if you're giving me two seconds to explain..

It was really awesome.

Reminiscence

Break down the dawn of morning ice, wake up the tone of deaf as I feel so comfortable with myself and not more could I say whether I'll be walking down the road of memories, the path of joy, the nostalgic moments or perhaps just all of them.
Like a tourist, my pace I ignore, my eyes to sore.
I would take a walk with creamy sights and soft steps through.. slow and meaningful.

I want to walk..

to a place where everything is wrong, I get to look at what may seem to be like false agony, undesired lies. There would be little points that interests me, something so deceiving in a matter that pleases you after you have noticed it.. the only thing that's right.

I want to walk..

down a wide path barefoot, a white path with my hands slid in my pockets. The cold air breezing through your toes and hair, then I can begin my journey of thoughts where I think of the sweetest of moments that has happened, and hoped it lasted forever, hoped it would happen again.

I want to walk..

into a room with not little corners, and no borders. There I limit my action and speech, what I say and what I do will be stable as I recall the simple flaws I've done. And I embrace the seconds passing because I know, when I step out.. I know, that I will repeat.. I know, I sense defeat.

I want to walk..

right into a beautiful being that I will smile at, when thats all I could see, and every other surroundings filled with darkness.. by then I get a smile back and that makes it all worth it.

I am walking..
deep inside extraordinary,
and pushing..
out fearful bravery.

Kick Off

If you were stranded on an island called Pulau Ubin for a day,
What 3 things would you wish to have?

To survive,
Shelter
Food/Water
Fire


There you go, first meal in camp lions. :)

Speechless

Day 4 Camp Lions, Singapore

Oh my, I don't know if i can put it in words, or even expressions.

Not even hours of thinking about this can make me expose this to you.

What I would compliment, you might not believe.

But I must say one of it..

And in some indescribable ways,

I had the best 4 days and 3 nights,

of my life.

Increase

As long as I..

still have a heart,
can imagine,
have a mission,
know my intentions,
make wise decisions,
am sane enough to live,
do not lose myself,
am loved,
am loving,
am growing,

am human,

I am Jason Kuan.

Day three in Camp Lions, Singapore.
"Its Copacabana Night, a dinner with Brazilian dress code."
20/6/2010, Sunday.

In The Memory

I don't know, i forgot what its like.
Maybe it was classic, so classic to digest their secret.
Putting on meanings to open up a black hole, sucking in all your emotions.
I watched this thrice, just to understand them.. last year.

Follow the notes upon the journey
At first sight marks one's destiny
Once the voyage comes to an end
Return lies within hasty keys.

Day two in Camp Lions, Singapore.
"We sing, and sing.. and sing along."
19/6/2010, Saturday.

I Choose

THE BETTER.

Lips or eyes
Eyes, then lips.

Hugs or kisses
Hugs.. kisses goes deeper.

Shorter or taller
Neither.

Older or younger
Maturer.

Romantic or spontaneous
Romantically spontaneous.

Nice stomach or nice arms
Nice body.

Sensitive or loud
Sensitive and loud.

Hook-up or relationship
Friends.

Trouble maker or hesitant
Depends on the situation.




DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself
I always try my best.

Miracles
When there's a need of a miracle, yes. If it doesn't happen.. i'll go back to phase one, myself.

Love at first sight
Not anymore, yay!

Heaven
It comes by my way once in a while.

Santa Claus
Only if he doesn't give me claustrophobia.

Kiss on the first date
Awkward.

Angels
They're everywhere, with a beautiful heart.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

Did you sing today?
Everyday.

Ever cheated on somebody's relationship?
No, why would i?

If you could go back in time, how far would go?
I don't see a threat in being here, the present.

If you could pick a day from this year,what would it be?
I'll never forget the day i watch my grandfather closing his eyes forever, 3/5/2010.. what an experience.

Are you afraid of falling in love?
yes, cause i'm afraid of losing, too.

Day one in Camp Lions, Singapore.
"Introduction at destination 1, activities begin."
18/6/10, Friday.

Little Voice

Hello!!
My name is Nicholas Wee, i'll be turning 2 next month!! yeay me!!
Anyway, i'm here to tell you how disappointed my cousin, Jason, is.
He's in Singapore now, still surviving.. i guess.
He's very sad because he won't be able to play with me, and i hope i'm sad too.
He left Malaysia on the 17th of June and i'll be here on the 19th, and most probably going back on the 21st.
Unfortunately, Jason will only be coming back on the 21st.. so we shall let time decide.
Whether will he make it back just to get a hold of me again, and smell my fart.






I'm gonna miss him. :(

Go!

18th June 2010 - 21st June 2010





In the Discourse on a Rhinoceros Horn (Khaggavisana Sutta), the Buddha said:

Not startled, like a lion at sounds.

Not snared, like the wind in a net.
Not smeared, like a lotus in water:

wander alone...

I leave tomorrow,
Explore Singapore just for a day,
Stay tuned,
really.
:)

Her Ambition Was To Witness a Miracle

Landon : Listen jamie i was hoping we could..

Jamie : We could be secret friends?

Landon : Exactly! its like.. you can read my mind!

Jamie : Great.. why don't you read mine?

Ready, Set..

"The expression of the lion's supremacy is its roar —
a roar which reduces to silence the cries, howls, bellows, shrieks, barks and growls of lesser creatures.
When the lion steps forth from his den and sounds his roar, all the other animals stop and listen.
On such an occasion none dares even to sound its own cry, let alone to come into the open and challenge the fearless,
unsurpassable roar of the golden-maned king of beasts."

Stolen Under a Pipala Tree.

Mail One.

"Dear Leaders from Malaysia,

Welcome to Camp Lions 2010!!

The welcome package main purpose is to prepare you leaders on what to expect during the entire duration of the camp, throughout this duration please do not hesitate to.....

...... for you.

regards,

Bro. Poo Jun Keat

2010 Camp Lions Malaysia Liason"

Mail Two.

"Dear Leaders,
We are pleased to have you joining us at CAMP L.I.O.N.S! We hope that you would be having fun throughout this camp, but of course.......

.......see you at CAMP L.I.O.N.S 2010!

Regards,
Alvin Yeo,
Vice Camp Master,
CAMP L.I.O.N.S."

It is so oblivious... and i'm excited. :)

Solo

Places my mind wanders around,
With the slightest of belief in getting an answer,
As i deliberately go into detail.. the very detail of it.

Then I felt something fierce and true,
It felt almost as stupid and painful,
Like a scrap metal and happy tool,
The truth was told by himself,
As he was fooled.

Lights blanked his thoughts,
No one could he trust anymore,
Too many deceiving faces,
Blaming the crumbs of slipped up words,
In all the right moves, and all the right places.

Believe himself, that's what to do.

Sparks Fly

I forgotten i was actually holding a book in my hands, and reading it.
When it came down to the part where you needed an alarm to stop yourself from reading.
And yes, Nicholas Sparks has his way of delivering his love message that he uses beautiful too many times, or he practically used all the words he knows about beauty that he unintentionally got lost in his world of writing these love stories, and it was far too meaningful that you've missed out allot finishing these books neglecting even one word.
A poet himself.. was a matter that will drag you deep inside his spell.

"I am nothing special of this I am sure. I am just a common man with common thoughts.

There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten.

But I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, that has always been enough."
~The Notebook


Do you know what else is special between these two books I borrowed?
The source is, and what a mystery to discover.

Alternative

I've been missing allot, very very allot.
That I feel the deepest of jealousy when I was watching what they had.
When I should be there, and I could've been there.
Well, patience is a virtue.. I'll be having as much fun as they had.
yeah, they had fun.


This.. is
Teen Dhamma Camp 12
Take two : Rewind, Review, redirect.

Do you know what i've been missing?
Yeah, Maxon Tee stole my name.
And the fact that I've never been so amazed what lies within the mind of a spectator,
I saw it today.. just hours ago.

Elsewhere, you can find letters to drop by cups.
Stalking, gifting, thanking, inspiring
yeah.. you can find it here.

Talents were exposed. ;)

Rewind.. one year back

Yeah, I had fun, too.
:)

Say hi to Maxon, the mama. :D

Fantasy Fear

"Under the sunlight you're a beam,

Beneath the moonlight you're a beauty scare,

When I used to sleep.. you're a dream,

Now I see undesired lies.. you're a nightmare."

For no one has wanted this dose, for all the pain brought on the game..

You used to intersect sweet dreams, so sweet he was awoken..

And little Benjamin had not an idea, how sweet it was..

Now, he's afraid of losing.

False Repeat

With a small laughter behind his voice,

Told himself the worst of a past shall reveal,
But the best of refreshments he could not enjoy,
He only enjoyed what he thought was just a bit of excitement,
To never repeat, to never repeat.. to never repeat,
After going through a hard time,
He cursed to himself..
"I did it again!"

Behind You

This place i've set my steps on for almost 3 times a week, sometimes more or less.
Something I do to get as much fresh air as i want, especially after a downpour.
I slid in casual sports wear.. singlets, pants, and running shoes.
Once again, just to get some more air
This time.. with my phone.

Cause I don't wanna miss a thing that evening.


What I come to discover when I step into this isolated park, after months..
was rather quite an inspiring story.
Reader, meet Praba. :)

I recall opening my eyes slightly bigger when I saw him.
Said he's been coming here for the past 3 months.. and thats how long i haven't been visiting this park. He was doing sit-ups.. the first time he came here, he only managed to complete 15, when I saw him today, he finished 60.



Oh, I also got a glimpse of the sunset. =)

But I remembered more rays of sunlight at the other end of where I was,
so i raced there instead.

and it was worth it.

The Story Of Life

and.. and.. and..

everyone, please don't die.

i love this quote (:

Branded

This.. is Bob

Found this little dude when I was jogging around my area,
It can do.. allot.


This.. is Shahid#2

Can you interpret?
oh.. maybe Bob can. :D

Play With Fire

Over my head, plain dead.
Saw an apology, untold.
Found trash on my ground, no promises.
Up above me, knowledge unwritten.
Down below me, I burn a lighter.. burn a room.
Held it high, and I watch white fumes.

Played a game, so fun.
Fight a stranger, make sure he falls.
Caught a soul, so pure.
Face to face with a murderer, make sure killed.
Slow dance, in a burning room.

This Much

Just so that i have an eye to catch,

cause i'm dead.. but not when i read this.

Just..
confuse me again.
I got this to drag me back on track.

When I Was

younger..
I didn't fall out of nowhere to be existing today..
Yet I remember pulling out stickers from toys that was imaginable..
Yeah, I used to pray

Those childish moments were actually forgotten
by the mind itself,
but not for who has seen it..
You see, I only used to play

Perhaps, I actually still remember some little moments.. until today.

Alice In wonderland

I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think.
Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.
But if I'm not the same, the next question is "Who in the world am I?"
Ah, that's the great puzzle!

Alice

Talk Inside

Talking to someone was options, but that thought was dust.
So my instincts.. good idea, no?
=)

A While

I had that distance in time.. I couldn't get lost..

you would have bittersweet moments everywhere..

hoping over here that nothing bitter lasted..

like a fly landing on your dinner, it makes your seconds unpleasant..

chase it away

all you had to do was just wave a hand over it, then its afraid.. and gone.

you're back feeling good again.

:)

The Beginning

I was on my bed.. staring at the ceiling.. again.. and thought about a question in an atmosphere of curiousity that the part in life where you had rejoice, where you had pressed your pleasure in that one particular period of life, where you really had the time of your life..
So I took off with my Formspring account, then Twitter and a little of Windows Live Messenger.. cause i wanted to know, what everyone thinks of it, and.. To discover the truth! :D



Q: Whats the best part in life?



You get to love, and be loved..
~Jen ning

When you sit down and think what are the good things you done in life,
and when the number of smiles and laughter you've put into others flash across your mind.
makes it all worth it :)
~Adam Tiam

The part where you go to sleep wondering whats coming next and wake up to face what you've been waiting for and go to sleep wondering whats coming next again..
Life's a mystery as tomorrow never comes.
~Gim Shyen

Honestly, from my perspective. The best thing about life is the limitless possibilities it holds.
It's really exciting when you wake up in your bed not knowing how your day would fare off.
Would it be great?
Would it be downright miserable?
Would you achieve a miracle?
The endless variables this world can give you should be exploited.
Perhaps one day, I'll be fully satisfied by what I have learned and gone through.
And that day my friend, shall be the day I permanently seal my eyes a
nd there would be no next day. ;)
Nice question, Kuan!
~Eu Gene

When you are with your friends ?? I don't know, tough question.
~Nazmi

Knowing there's dinner on the table.

~Ee Shen

The best part of my life is when i put sincere effort into something i really love doing
and it ends up working out.
~Shahid Rogers

Actually living it.. :)
~Carmen Kong

The best part in life? Hmm, most probably when I get things I wanted.
Or to have something unexpected & totally lovin' it (:

~Nur Sarina

Having awesome people that're always there for you. :D
~Sara Ariffin

Food.. not the culture, not the way to cook, just food.
~Justin Lee

Food.

~Asila

The best part in life was in highschool,

when all i had to worry about was tuition class and boyfriend.

HAHAH :D

~Crystal Chow?!

Strawberry flavoured rocky and that rare feeling of contentment at where and what you are.

hope that made sense ;)

~Weishya

Happiness, moments.

~Daniel teoh

Life itself is the best part.
~Azfar

Just maybe, the best part in life..

Is when you realise all the answers above makes sense..
perfect sense.