Save yourself

There's a big difference between "what you do" and, "why you do it". The sense of self-conciousness, although, has changed the question of why you're doing it into "are you doing it good enough?". Maybe if people were to prioritize their personal perspective of good will and good conduct, then passion would arose even more naturally for everyone. I have faith in humanity, I'm just disappointed when people lose their sense of belief just because they're affected by the people around them, including myself. But I'll be myself, I'm best at it.

By the way, have you ever wished you could see the future before it happens? Because at the moment, I wish I could, but I might still be wrong.

The green light; all I need

I like how when I'm jogging and sometimes I might have to stop for cars to pass by first at a junction but they're the ones that stop for me instead and they wave me ahead as if saying: "Go ahead boy, the roads all yours, I'll wait for you to go first, I don't want to stop your run." Motivated, I reply to them in my own head and say: "Alright man, the next kilometre I'll be going for is for you, thank you very much." 

Reflexes

Its pretty difficult to get hold of your sense of control when you're going through so much in such a short period of time. Today is of course, 4/3/2012, two months and four days passed, believe me I have never imagined my life to be as different as it was two months and four days ago. I have lost and I have won, but it still depends on how I'm looking at it, I could be saying to myself that I've benefited from everything that is happening, that everything is only for my own good, or I could say that this is really sucking me up. I'm probably on the fence in that case because if I were to consider what I used to have and what I have now, its..just.. sad. Because I've parted ways with someone that has every potential to make me happy, and when I think of it, I'll just tell myself that anything can happen in the future. That's life. It's full of surprises.

Emotions aside. I realize my patience for the past three weeks have been deteriorating. At least I realized, and that is good for me, considering how my future depends on it. You know, if I were to punch someone in the face(just an example), it is most likely that another blow will come back right at me, but if someone were to punch me, and I calmly avoid that hit, I don't think it will cause further problems. I don't think you should call it a fight, when there is no second blow. But that's how you deal with mad men. To fight for what is right is a whole different story.

Seeking solace

Borrowed this from Taylor's Lakeside campus. 

Something to fill my time of thoughts. 

I'd be sorry

Given a chance, I would gladly take the blame and apologise for my mistakes. Its usually going all great for you until you realize what kind of a person you have been after a while. No wait, the response of the people around you, they're the ones making me realize what you are today. Sadly enough, they can't tell you right away, neither can they accept you instantly. Well, the scenario has to be 'in a bad way'. Observance is crucial.

I'd rather exchange ego for the world to turn back at me because there is no reason to be denial in this. I choose to live in harmony than to live in hate, I'm hoping to welcome the same service in return. The only disadvantage in it would just cost you your ego, which I don't think is worth the respect of another.
I don't want to have to take a step back to do this all over again because I was wrong, give me a chance to take a step forward with another foot, on the same path.